Despite being MIA for the past couple weeks, I'm still doing good with eating on the healthy side. I've also done my best to keep up with taking pictures of new meals that I've tried. Everything is surprisingly very simple, but pleasing. Most of my meals consist of regular old fruits and veggies. It's the spice department that I'm really exploring lately. I've found myself using spices I never new existed.
My favorite spice combination is thyme and rosemary. Before the last month or so I'd never purchased either of these spices. I'm really starting to warm up to basil, dried, not fresh, yet. I've also been playing around with a little balsamic and coming up with some interesting things. The salad in the picture above actually has a basil balsamic vinaigrette on it. The other salad in the bottom picture has a little gluten free thousand island. Yum! Next to that is thyme and rosemary roasted red potatoes and scrambled eggs with onions, bell peppers, and tomatoes, topped with salsa.
I know that dairy doesn't do me well, but the huge pile of fruit sitting next to the heap of plain Greek yogurt was so delicious. Crazy enough, I didn't add any type of sweetener to the yogurt and I actually enjoyed it. I tried Greek yogurt once, years ago, and hated it! And it was actually flavored. This wasn't sweet at all, and was honestly a little on the tangy/bitter side, but paired with the fruit it was really good. I have to admit the texture of this yogurt was a lot better. I don't remember what the brand of the first one I tried was, but it was so gritty. Taking a bite resembled dumping a load of sand into my mouth. Not cool.
I got on a roasted portobello mushroom kick a while back and the ones pictures were actually pizza mushrooms. I made the same homemade pizza sauce that I made before using tomato sauce, basil, oregano, and garlic salt. It was pretty good, and I could eat that sauce all by itself. Heck, I had some tonight :)
The picture above shows two of my favorite meals in the past couple weeks. I found a box of gluten free gnocchi pasta and a box of gluten free rice noodles marked down at Kroger. I cooked up some onions, bell peppers, and tomatoes and seasoned them both with Italian seasoned olive oil and balsamic vinegar. I discovered the olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and Italian seasonings combination quite a while back and it has become my preferred sauce for any pasta or pasta substitute.
This last set of pictures shows the same meal from a few nights ago. I've been calling it black bean veggie tacos. It's just cooked onions, bell peppers, diced tomatoes, jalapenos, and black beans. I season it with cumin and toss it on a tortilla. It is so yummy. I've actually had it three days this past week and looking forward to having it again. It's so quick and simple it's not funny.
Speaking of funny, since changing my diet I've really started to enjoy cooking. I used to see anything that didn't come from a box and go straight into the oven or microwave as a chore. Now, it just doesn't feel right if I don't have my cutting board and chopping knife out when fixing a meal.
Well, I'm happy to report that as of yesterday I'm down to 175.5! I wasn't sure I would ever get away from 179 for a while there. It seemed I was doomed to stay that weight forever. In all I've lost 39.5 pounds. So close to 40. My goal is 130 so that means I only have about 40 more pounds to go! I'm half way there. I have to be honest though, when I started this journey, a huge part of me didn't think I'd have the chance to drop this much weight before getting pregnant. I guess I thought it was going to be my cure all. Now, I"m feeling pretty confident that I'll make it all the way to my goal.
Today is cd 2, almost cd 3, and I wish I could say I was surprised about starting another cycle, but I can't. I'm really starting to have mixed feelings about being forced into a TTC break in less than three weeks. I have to confess, I've spent weeks trying to figure out a way to have the surgery and continue to TTC while I'm in MD when the hubby comes to visit. It was only recently that I faced the fact that it just can't happen. There's no guarantee that he'll be able to make it up during my fertile window, and who knows if we'd even get the chance to try??
As much as it sucks, surgery after the break will be best. I'm still back and forth on whether or not I'm going to take the birth control pills I've got. I have some anxiety about taking medicines, especially new ones, and how my body will react. It kind of scares me that I could have a bad reaction while I'm up there alone with Peanut. I know it's just birth control but, what can I say, I'm super paranoid. I'm also a little confused about how I should take them if I do. Do I take the sugar pills to induce a period or not? I've read that girls do it both ways, but I"m not sure which is the right way for me. I don't want to do anything that will screw up my cycle and I know that taking birth control is risky in that department anyway.
On top of everything, I'm starting to feel anxious about being without the hubby for so long. He started a new job about six months ago and I think I'm still adjusting. Before this job, he spent 8 years at a job with extremely flexible hours. We were lucky enough to spend pretty much all of every day together. When he did have to go in to work he usually went after hours and took us with him.
It was super hard in the beginning. We went from being with him all the time to barely seeing him at all. He's gone before we wake up and he's only home for about 4-5 hours before he's ready for bed. Most days he falls asleep on the couch before 9pm. To make it worse we lose almost an extra 2 hours with him since he has to drive almost an hour one way to get to work. We've been talking about relocating lately, but I'm not sure we will because we have a pretty nice home set up where we are currently. We'd be crazy to leave just yet.
Lately though, it's not really the amount of time we get to spend with him that's really bothering me. For about the past week or two I've been feeling really insecure about myself. For the first time in our 11 years of being together, I'm scared to death he's going to get bored of me. He's made several friends at work and he's always telling me about them when he comes home. Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy listening to him, especially when it's some juicy work drama, but I never have anything interesting to say back.
I cook, I clean, and I teach. That's my day. My life.
I'm trying really hard not to let my fear leak out. I don't want to push him away by becoming too needy or too attached. I feel like I need to find something for myself to do. I'm just not sure what?