Sunday, November 3, 2013

7 dpo & Zero Hope

We visited with friends and family and enjoyed a great dinner with them. We laughed, talked, and just had fun together. But, deep down, I felt this tightness in my chest the whole time. I had to remain constantly aware of myself because it only takes one small moment for my thoughts to pull me in.

I can't let them see. If they do, they ask questions. If they ask questions, I cry. And it's all because...

I'm out. I know it.

I know, I know. I'm only 7 dpo, but just wait and see. AF will arrive right on time. Well, give or take a few days since I'm not charting.

Today is just a really bad day. No hope. No point in hope. I don't even want it. It only makes the fall harder. I'm exhausted. I know that it's over. Done. Finished. The End. This cycle's a bust and I'm so tired. I just want AF to come so I can start this miserable, endless journey all over...

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