CD 29 & Feeling Stuck in the Mud

I feel exactly like the tire pictured above. Stuck. I'm stuck on my couch with my laptop in front of me and my phone beside me. Despite searching Google yesterday and since I've been up today and with no explanation of what our health insurance means for family planning, I can't stop searching. And I can't walk away from my phone for more than a few seconds for fear of missing a call from the hubby with a response from HR.

The sad thing is, I know that I'm going to be told that insurance doesn't cover anything because (fill in blank with whatever excuse they have), but I just need to hear it. I can't move on until I do.

They'll have an excuse to not cover anything. I know they will.

End of the Road & Infertility Coverage

Well, after my little depression party the other day, the hubby began looking into his benefits information. When he was offered this new job one of the first things he asked about what whether or not infertility would be covered. He was originally told it would be and he found this in the packet...

Family Planning

The plan covers:

■ Surgery for sterilization (reversal of sterilization is not covered).

■ Diagnosis and treatment of the underlying cause of infertility if medically necessary and preauthorized by the Medical Claims Administrator.

So why am I being told no every time I call and ask the benefits people???

He decided to contact the human resources lady where he works, which happens to be the same person that told him we would have coverage, to try to find out what's going on. I tried to call a RE that is close by to see what I could find out as well. The girl I talked to said that it sounds like I do have coverage, but she's not sure why they would tell me no when I call customer service, which is what she suggested I do.

Hopefully we'll hear something tomorrow, but the waiting is killing me. When he took this job about six months ago I thought I would finally have a shot, and then that hope was ripped away. Now they've got my hopes up again and I'm so afraid of having it crushed, again. The pessimistic side of me just knows that there is some sort of loophole for them to get out of offering coverage and that's why it's worded the way it is. The hopeless optimistic side says it's clearly says it will be covered if there is a medical need and I have a medical need, right?

I want to know the answer, but at the same time I'm scared to know.

TTC News:

If you can't tell, AF is on her way in. Some stupid part of me actually thought that if I truly let go this month it might actually happen. Ha!

Who is this bitter, angry person?

Here's another dose of my stupidity for you. I still keep thinking of names. My newest favorite boy name is Oscar Edwin. Oscar was the name of my papaw and Edwin is the middle name of the hubby's great grandpa. Or maybe Edwin Oscar?

CD 27...I Don't Know Why I Bother...

It's never going to happen. Thanks endometriosis.

CD 25 & Cycle Confusion

Well, I thought I was around 7 dpo today (cd 25), but I had some spotting on cd 22 after some bding. I thought maybe it was related to the aspirin I was taking because it stopped on cd 23. On cd 24, however, it started back up and has continued today. It's scant and brown externally, red internally, and looks exactly like what happens when AF is approaching.

It could be one of three things...

1.) I will have a week of spotting leading up to AF.

2.) I am wrong about my O dates and AF will be here in the next couple of days.

3.) The baby aspirin

There's no way it can be implantation bleeding. It looks too much like pre-AF bleeding. Maybe the aspirin is causing early spotting? Who knows? Only the next several days will tell what's really going on. Either way, if AF doesn't arrive after the end of January I will test. I have a feeling she will come sooner rather than later. It's just weird that my bbs may have gotten sore later than normal. 6 dpo is average and 8 dpo is the latest it has ever happened.

Despite all the confusion, I will most definitely be doing away with tracking again next cycle. I'm normally very bad about stressing all day every day during the tww about how I missed this day or that day around my fertile window. I literally will stare at my chart or other charts on fertility friend for hours. None of that at all this month. I don't even know what days we bd on for sure anymore.

A few other girls and I have been working to lose weight to help with fertility. We each have our own reason/need to lose weight, but our end goals are the same. One of them fixed this quote with this image. I thought it was great and inspiring so I wanted to share. It's nice to have others working toward a similar goal. I have managed to lose 35 pounds and I have 35 more to go. The other girls have different goals, but I know we can all reach them!

I have 8 more days left in my dietbet and although I actually made it to my goal weight, I gained a bit in the last couple of days. I really need to buckle down and get this weight back off so I don't lose my money. Hopefully I can make it.

CD 24 & Cake

Yep. That's cake. Yummy, yummy cake. Nope. It's not something I should be eating, but I was at a birthday party. What was I supposed to do?! The birthday boy would have been disappointed. Okay, maybe he wouldn't have been, but I couldn't resist. It was a homemade Reese's cake! How could I resist?

So, yeah. My healthy eating went straight out the window today. However, I was good and only had a little piece and one small scoop of ice cream. The only other thing I had today was shrimp fajitas from a restaurant and a tortilla chips and salsa. I'll make up for it tomorrow with lots of veggies and exercise.

TTC News:

Today is cd 24 and my boobs are sore for sure! Oh man they hurt. This means I'm anywhere from 5-8 dpo. I had a bit more spotting today, but not a lot. It should be way to early for spotting, but I could be having a crazy spotting cycle or something. Normally I start spotting around cd 26-27. On wacky cycles I've started as early as an entire week before AF comes, which would match up for my spotting now. I'd much rather it be implantation spotting. Usually AF comes around cd 29, but it has been known to show as early as cd 26 and as late as cd 35. If nothing by February first I'll test.

CD 23 & Trying Something New

A friend from a forum I visit often made this image for me. I absolutely love it! The colors are perfect together and for me because if I do get the chance to have #2 the hubby and I both want to be team green all the way. This image doesn't suggest one specific gender and I love that about it.

I've been trying a couple new things this cycle and I'm hoping it helps me get a BFP before I'm able to go to the doctor in half a year. Of course there's the healthier eating, but on top of that I decided to try using coconut oil for lube. I've not found a lot of info on using it, but pretty much everything seems to agree that it's not harmful. Preseed is so expensive I just can't afford to buy it all the time. Along with that I decided to use baby aspirin again this cycle. When I got my sticky BFP a couple years ago that ended in a missed miscarriage I had been taking aspirin for two previous cycles. Of course, I'm also taking my multivitamin along with b12 complex and a vitamin d supplement. And the best thing I decided to do this month was to stop tracking completely.

It would be amazing if these new things help me get a sticky BFP, but this is only the first month using these new things. I know it could take time. I'm not sure what dpo I am today, but I'm on cd 23. Last night I had some spotting after DTD. I have seen no trace of spotting since. It could have been because of the aspirin, but I don't remember having spotting like that when I took it before. I never spot after DTD. Add in that earlier in the day yesterday I had these very fast, sharp pains behind the right side of my pelvic bone and you get ridiculously high levels of hope. It felt like lighting. Each pain lasted about 1 second and all together the pains lasted about 3-5 minutes. Haven't felt it before that or since. I've also been pretty bloated, gassy, and somewhat constipated. I know these signs can be normal, but since I've tried this other stuff I think I'm a little more hopeful than usual.

AF should be here in 6-8 days.

Down 35 Pounds

I think there's a part of me that is so used to failing that I never truly expected myself to succeed with this when I start this blog. I looked back through my beginning posts and the first time I mentioned my weight I was at 199.5. Sadly, this is not my highest, which was 213-215. I hovered around 200 so long I just knew I'd never get away from it. 

This morning, however, I hit the 170s for the first time in so long. It feels so good to see a 7 as the second number. In all I've lost about 35 pounds. I only have about 55 to go. The greatest part is I no longer look at my remaining weight as impossible. That 55 pounds will go away. It's only a matter of time.

I know I can keep up these changes that I've made, and not just for the time I want to lose weight. I want and plan to make even more changes to be even healthier. I can do this. I can't wait to see what weight I can get to before summer. Would be awesome if I could reach my goal of 130.

Holy crap! I just realized I have 40 pounds to go!

It's really kind of weird being on the other side of the fence. I feel like a switch was flipped inside me somewhere. Suddenly I'm not struggling to keep away from junk food. I honestly don't even want or crave it anymore. Perhaps I've been invaded by the body snatchers and am now a pod person? That sure would explain this dramatic shift.

Tecnically CD 22 & Homemade Italian Dressing

I found the recipe for the Italian dressing pictured above HERE. I cut the salt in half and left the sugar out of the recipe. It turned out pretty good, definitely not as sweet as store bought. The hubby like it, so I guess it's not too awfully terrible. I used an old, glass dressing bottle that I had saved to store it in. Kind of perfect. Now I can make some pasta salad, with zucchini noodles of course, whenever I like.

I actually plan on trying some other condiment recipes. I found a free eBook the other day that has nothing but condiment recipes in it. Since I began my healthy eating quest I've sworn off all condiments. It sucks because I really love condiments. They make meals so yummy.

For dinner I sliced cabbage, seasoned with salt and pepper, and lay it in the bottom of my Nuwave oven. On the rack above that I put in a layer of root vegetables, potatoes, parsnips, and some other white vegetable that I cannot remember the name of. It was all pretty gross except for the potatoes. One of those root vegetable things tastes kind of like black licorice. I hate that stuff and I can't even spell it! Had to use Google.

At least my salad turned out okay. I used my homemade dressing that I made. Nothing really awesome about my meals today, but they were endo friendly, as far as I know. Feeling pretty awesome about that. Tomorrow though I'm going to have to make something new. I have lots of recipes on Pinterest that I want to use now.

TTC News:

To me, I'm cd 21 because I have no been to sleep yet despite it being 2:57 a.m. at this exact moment. Had a really nice visit with my SIL. I really enjoy her coming over. I could possible wear her out with all my chatter though. The hubby actually surprised me while she was here. He's never been on board to really push fertility treatments, but today when me and the SIL began discussing it IVF was brought up. She suggested us go overseas for treatment and when he responded positively to the suggestion I reminded him of the trial thing in NY. Shockingly he responded by informing us that he could just fly me up for my appointments. I hope he meant it, because as soon as I get my BMI low enough I'm applying.

Of course, I'd much rather it happen sooner than I could do that and naturally.

I've been feeling really bloated and a little constipated tonight. I have no idea what dpo I am, and I'm probably way to early, but it still gets me a little hopeful. Okay, okay. A lot hopeful. I've also had random bouts of nausea, but I could just be making that up. Or it could be because I was eating way under my calories that past several days without knowing it. Hopefully I'm not getting sick though.

CD 20 & Spicy Spinach, Avocado, & Tomato Salad

I was so excited after I weighed myself this morning. I know I shouldn't do it daily, but I do. My weight has been stalled at 183 for about two weeks. After talking to some other girls I decided to track my calories for the day. I haven't been doing that for about two months or longer. I discovered that I was 400 calories under my 1200 calorie goal. I added in 400 calories worth of fruits and veggies and the next morning I was down to 181.5. I should probably add that I did do a 20 minute exercise video as well. I haven't been doing much exercising. I'm not sure if upping my calories or adding in the exercise got my weight moving, but I hope it continues to go down.

Most of my meals today are either the same or similar to things I've already shared, except the one pictured above. I call it a Spicy Spinach, Avocado, & Tomato Salad. I found the original recipe HERE, but I changed it up a bit and used salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper instead of the lemon pepper. My first bowl was made for lunch and I enjoyed it so much I ended up having it for dinner as well.

Speaking of dinner. I fixed the family sloppy joes using deer meat. It looked so good I ended up eating about a tablespoon on one piece of bread. I feel okay eating deer because the animal was wild and not "factory farmed" like most of our store meats. I'd eat it more often if it wasn't red meat, which is inflammatory and bad for endo.

TTC News:

That shoe I've been waiting on to drop finally did. One of the daughters assignments today was to write down five reasons she likes the story about Peter Rabbit. Her #4 reason was because he has siblings. Ouch. I never stop feeling like I'm failing her, but moments like this just amp it up to almost unbearable levels. After reading her list I couldn't help but sit and watch her and think about how great of a sister I think she would be. I wish I could tell her. I wish I could give her the chance.

This is why I can't give up. I don't know if my eating habits will make a difference, but I have to do whatever I can. She deserves the chance to know what it's like to have a brother or sister.

Ugh, this sucks!

CD 18 & Italian Shrimp Stir-Fry

Breakfast was so yummy today. I had my current favorite, veggie scrambled eggs with hot picante sauce, an avocado with salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper, and microwaved cinnamon and honey apples. Mmmmm Mm! It was yummy! And totally endo friendly, I think? Aside from the eggs for some. I was really surprised at how well the apples came out. I think I'll have them again tomorrow but add some nuts to the mix.

Microwave "Fried" Apples

1 apple sliced

cinnamon

honey

** Slice apples, or chop, and place in microwave safe bowl. Sprinkle with cinnamon. Cook on high for 1-2 minutes, until natural juices develop. Stir and add honey. Done!

The picture above is my version of Italian pasta salad. Instead of pasta, I used zucchini noodles. I also made my own Italian dressing. You can find the recipes HERE. I followed it exactly, except I left out the sugar and cut the salt in half. Still tasted pretty good to me. It's different than your typical bottled dressing though.

Italian Zucchini Noodle Salad

1 zucchini

handful of grape tomatoes

1/2 yellow onion chopped

1/2 yellow bell pepper(or whatever color you have on hand) chopped

homemade italian dressing (recipe HERE)

** Use spiral slicer to turn zucchini into yummy noodles. Boil onions and yellow peppers until tender. Add all ingredients to a bowl and drizzle with dressing.

I went to the store the other day and just thought I'd show how my counter looks after I return. My family loves fruits so I load up on them, especially if there is a good sale. I was able to get the oranges for .50/lb and the big bowl of clementines (it was full) for $4. I was also able to price match the bananas and get them for .38/lb. I'm sure all of this will be gone by the end of this weekend.

While at the store I was also able to find this pile of green beans marked down to .54/lb. I think I ended up with about 5 lbs all together. I separated them into family sized portions and froze them. The fruits and these green beans may or may not be organic. I'm not sure? I want to start buying organic, but it's so hard to pass up such good prices when money doesn't grow on trees where you live.

And then we come to dinner. Italian Shrimp Stir-fry. I used my homemade Italian dressing on it and I have to say, it turned out rather well. The family enjoyed theirs on a nice bed of linguine noodles, but I had my good ol' trusty zucchini noodles. The potatoes were marinated in rosemary and thyme and boy were they good. I may have ate a bit more than I should have. You can find the recipe I used for the Stir-fry HERE. I used the same Italian dressing that I used for the pasta salad above.

TTC News:

Today is cd 18 and the nips are still sore. I've also had some pressure in the ovary area, but I'm sure that's related to recent ovulation. My boobs are not sore yet though and that always happens around 6-7 dpo. Not that I'm trying to obsess or anything. I'm just trying to get an idea! Really!

Seriously though, I'm actually enjoying this relaxed cycle. I still have yet to worry about my imperfect timing. I'm not even sure what perfect is? I never seemed to have perfect timing. Something was always wrong. I've even found myself stressing over whether it was sooner rather than later at night. If it was O day and I felt a pinching pain that I connected with O, I swear I would think of nothing except my dying egg until we did bd. Psycho, right?

I hope this healthy eating thing works to get me knocked up. I've never in my life worked this hard to change my eating habits. On top of that, I quite smoking for this same reason 2.5 years ago. Cold turkey! Of course, I'm happy that I'm becoming healthier, but I have to say I'll be pretty bummed if it doesn't put a bun in my oven.

As of today I'm down to 183. I did get down to 182, but my weight generally fluctuates up and down by a pound or two. Can't wait to get out of the 180s. Fat increases estrogen, estrogen is miracle grow for endometriosis, therefor my fat needs to go!

CD 17 & Grilled Shrimp Fajitas

The picture above shows my current favorite obsession. Basically it's just a scrambled omelet without cheese. Before I even finished all of it I was ready for breakfast tomorrow. Sad, I know, but it's so yummy. It's all basically the same as the last one I made, however, this time I added a couple fresh green beans. Not bad, but not awesome. Next time I'll be leaving the green beans out.

So, even though the food pictured above looks a little more like slop, it was absolutely delicious! I did eat one fajita with a flour tortilla, but I ate the rest without a tortilla. This is one of the recipes that I pinned from the Betty Crocker recipe collection. You can find the recipe HERE.

If you like shrimp and you like fajitas I definitely recommend this meal. I need to pick up some gluten free wraps. I'm doing my best to cut out gluten along with everything else. It's just so confusing. It seems like the stuff is everywhere!

TTC News:

CD 17 today and there's not a whole lot going on. I'm pretty sure that I've ovulated, but I'm not sure which day. My skin is feeling hot and I've had pretty sensitive nips today and yesterday, maybe the day before yesterday? I'm not too sure now. According to FF I should get AF around February 1st or 2nd. Not looking forward to her arrival.

Gah...I'm anxious to get back from MD so that I can get things rolling with the doctor again. I really want to have the HSG procedure done to make sure my tubes are not blocked. Hopefully I can avoid another surgery if I can continue to manage my pain through my diet. Waiting sucks but, since my insurance doesn't cover anything fertility related we have to keep the costs low. With our daughter having surgery this year we'll at least meet the deductible for the year.

I have to say, not tracking anything this month has been kind of nice. Of course, I'm still aware of the approximate time I O'd and when we BD'd, but I'm not 100% sure. Since I'm not sure of exact days I can't really focus so much on whether or not our timing was "perfect" or not. I think I'll be doing this again next cycle as well.

Of course, I'd much rather get knocked up than get another cycle!

CD 16 & Yummy Spicy Stuff

Well, I had hoped to get to the grocery store this morning so that I could try out one of my many recipes I've pinned but things didn't work out that way. We ended up going out of town for most of the day and by the time we headed back it was so cold I just wanted to be home.

I still got to use my Nuwave oven, even if it was only for roasting some mushrooms. They turned out pretty good. I really enjoyed the scrambled eggs and veggies that went with it. I was kind of in the mood for a breakfast burrito, but I don't each cheese, meat or the tortillas. That would have left scrambled eggs, and I wanted something a little more interesting than that. I decided to toss in some bell peppers and onions. I've been calling it a scrambled egg fajita without the tortilla. I added a good bit of hot picante sauce and it really hit the spot.

Scrambled Egg Fajita w/o Tortilla

Sliced bell peppers (whatever color)

Sliced onion

2 Eggs

Hot picante sauce

**This was so easy peasy. I just sliced some bell peppers and onion fajita style, cooked them until they were soft, then added two eggs. Top with hot picante sauce and you're good to go!

Dinner was kind of an experiment as well. I'm running low on fruits and veggies so I kind of tossed what's pictured above together and was pleasantly surprised by the results. I ended up eating two large bowls. I really don't know what to call it? So I guess I'll just call it Garlic & Herb Black Bean & Veggie Slop for now. This meal was super easy and fast as well. It only took a few minutes to throw together after getting home.

Garlic & Herb Black Bean & Veggie Slop

can of black beans

sliced bell peppers

sliced onion

chopped zucchini

chopped green onion

chopped tomato

old bay garlic and herb seasoning

hot picante sauce

**Add all ingredients to a pan and cook until veggies are tender. season with garlic and herb seasoning and hot picante sauce.

I wonder if endometriosis has any connection to fatigue? Maybe I'll go do a little browsing around the web and see what I can find out. I just know that there are some days when keeping my eyes open feels like torture. Today is one of those days.

CD 15 & A Nuwave Dinner

So, I decided to try out my Nuwave oven that I got for Christmas tonight. No, not this past Christmas. The one before that. Yeah, that Christmas. Poor thing has seen no use before tonight. I'm going to be trying to change that though. I'm on a quest to find and execute awesome Nuwave recipes!

For my first meal in the Nuwave I fixed roasted potatoes, steamed broccoli (burned it a little before I realized it needed to be in aluminum foil), and old bay salmon. The potatoes were rockin! The broccoli, however, was pretty gross. It wasn't that badly burned, but I guess it was enough to make it taste pretty bad.

It was pretty nice since it was mostly fixed all at the same time without me having to do much, but I did have to cook the potatoes and broccoli a little before I added the fish. I had originally thought I could just throw everything inside it at the same time and VOILA! Dinner! Only, not exactly. I kind of think that the broccoli may have had a salmon taste, but it could have been where it was burned. I'm not really sure.

I've found several recipes that I'm planning on trying this week. I have never really used Pinterest, but I started pinning the foods I found and want to try. Hopefully this will help me keep up with all of the yummy sounding recipes I find that are endo friendly. You can see all that I pin HERE.

I think I might be most excited to try the Garlic Shrimp Pasta and the Zucchini Pizza Bites. I'll be using the 4 ingredient pizza sauce recipe that I pinned as well. I'd like to keep the sugar to a minimum and this seems like a decent way to do it. I'll also be making my own Italian dressing for the Italian Shrimp Stir-Fry. Of course, there are a couple ingredients I'll either be leaving out completely or substituting for something else a little more endo friendly. For example, I'll be using zucchini noodles in place of pasta noodles for myself.

I'm still struggling to wrap my head around 30 cycles of active TTC, let alone nine and a half years since we stopped birth control. Whoever said time heals all wounds didn't do anything but tell a big fat lie. If anything, my heartache has multiplied. The only thing that has changed is my ability to keep my feelings locked up. And to add a cherry on top, my daughter just turned 10 years old. At this rate she'll be grown and living on her own before # 2 comes along.

It has been a couple of weeks since she has voiced her desire for a sibling or told me she was lonely. I keep waiting for it. I know it's coming. I hate feeling like I'm failing her. Because of me she has/is and probably will continue to grow up alone. Thanks body.

I was having a bad day a while back and when my husband noticed I told him that I didn't think this feeling was going to go away. It's been far too long and I still feel as broken as I always have, if not more so. Funny enough, he said he was thinking the same thing the day before. You see, we're in different places as far as #2 goes. He's still okay with just waiting for it to happen, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. I, on the other hand, am ready to run to a RE and fork out the money to win this battle against endometriosis!

I wish I could go for HSGs, IUIs, IVF! But nooooooo. My state doesn't mandate infertility coverage. Thanks for nothing KY >.<

Can't Sleep...

No word from me for days and then you can't get rid of me. Everyone is asleep here and I'm still up playing around on a TTC site and Google. I forgot to mention earlier that I'm giving organic coconut oil a try in place of Pre-Seed this month. It's so much cheaper and it seems like a lot of people have had success with it. Maybe I will as well? One can hope.

Right?

I've been trying really hard to switch to a cleaner lifestyle. I've done really well with eating only fruits, veggies, and seafood. That's great, but I really need to try to make the switch to all organic foods. We have a Whole Foods about 20 minutes away that I'm hoping I can start going to at least a couple of times a month. I've never been there but I'm hoping they have better deals on organic than Kroger or Meijer.

I already make my own laundry detergent, household cleaners, and I only use baking soda and vinegar for washing my hair. I also traded in my body wash for Yardley soap since it has no sulfates. And I only eat processed foods on very rare occasions now. Organics are long overdue. 

What The Duck??

Sooooo, I just realized that I'm working on cycle 30 of hardcore active ttc. I've been keeping track of months and years. Two and a half years of active and seven years of not preventing. Is this even real? How can it even be possible? Only six more cycles and I'll be at the three year mark, and about 4 of those cycles will be a forced break.

This sucks...

CD 14 & Zucchini Noodle Spaghetti Dinner

Traveling the same old road, in a whole new way. 

I may not be able to get off this road of infertility, but that doesn't mean I can't change the way I travel down it. I've been trying to maintain an endo friendly diet for several months now with success. I gave Vitex a try, but I ended up not keeping up with it due to the excessive spotting it caused before AF. Now, I've decided to forgo all tracking on my BBT chart.

I can't remember that last cycle I've had where I didn't stress during the entire two week wait about how imperfect my BD attempts were. So, I decided not to track it. I won't be temping this month either. If I don't know exactly what days we've BD, and exactly when I O'd I can't stress over it. Right? Makes sense to me. I've been doing my best to not even look at my chart to see what day I'm on for the past several days. I knew if I did I would just memorize what days we BD and guesstimate my O date. This would only lead to me stressing about the exact same thing I'm trying not to stress about.

It's crazy, I know, but so far it seems to be working. I'm on cd 14 and I've not worried over my BD schedule once.

I found a loaf of garlic bread from the bakery marked down at the store the other day. I wanted to fix it for the family before it went bad. For the hubby and daughter I made regular pasta noodled spaghetti with garlic bread and a baked potato. For myself I made yummy yummy zucchini noodles with veggie pasta sauce and a baked potato. I ended up having to slice up another zucchini for seconds. It was amazing! And it was so simple...

Zucchini Spaghetti

Traditional Spaghetti Sauce

Diced Onion

Diced Bell Peppers

Grape Tomatoes

1-2 Zucchini

**I used my spiral slicer to cut the zucchini into noodle form. I put it on a pan and broiled it until the small pieces began to brown. This gets out a lot of the water so it doesn't make your meal a soppy mess. For the veggie sauce I just cooked grape tomatoes, diced bell peppers, and onion in olive oil. I seasoned it with salt and pepper. Once the veggies were tender I poured on the sauce. I did add crushed red pepper to mine once I had it plated up.

The sister-in-law brought me this awesome drink jug for my birthday. I fill it up with water and try to drink at least half of it a day.I like to juice lemons, and sometimes limes, and add that to it. It's a lot of water, but I've been making it so far.

To be honest, I'm kind of surprised I'm sticking with this healthy eating as well as I am. I told some friends the other day, even if I don't get pregnant as a result of my health changes, at least I'll be healthier. I've not been happy with my body since becoming pregnant over 10 years ago, and now I feel like I can change that, for good.

Of course, I'm hoping my efforts result in #2. Sooner rather than later.

Catch Up & A Smoothie

This is from a few days ago, but I never got a chance to post it. The daughter's birthday was just a few days ago and things got pretty crazy as we tried to prepare, host, and clean up a party. It turned out great! We had a Minecraft pool party. It was her 10th birthday, no more single digits!, so the hubby and I really put some work into this one.

Anywho...

On the day of her birthday I always fix whatever she wants to eat for all of her meals. For breakfast she wanted a smoothie. I ended up making a banana, berry mix, spinach, coconut milk, and chia seed smoothie. At first I didn't make enough for myself, but after tasting it I had to make more. It was super yummy!

And while the daughter enjoyed a nice steaming plate of french toast drizzled in sugary syrup and scrambled eggs, I had a sensible bowl of chopped apple topped with cinnamon, honey, and almonds along with an avocado seasoned with salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper flakes. Yep. Sticking to my endo friendly foods. And I'm so close to being out of the 180s for it!

I wish that I could just take a peek inside my abdomen and see what my endo is doing. I'm still doing well at managing my pain. Still have yet to feel like I'm going to pass out or throw up. My hope of having an HSG in April isn't looking so hot anymore. We had to push back surgery for the daughter because she caught a cold within the 6 week period before surgery. It really sucks, but I guess I get another cycle to TTC before I have to leave.

Not sure if that's good or bad?

Happy Breakfast & Dinner Last Night

Before I wake up the daughter, at 11:30!?!, I figured I'd go ahead and do another post. I really want to share what I had for dinner last night. It was so yummy :) Above is a picture of my brunch. I woke up several hours ago but got busy getting some cleaning done and updating this blog while she's asleep. I just had breakfast a minute ago. I know I shouldn't do that, but I do from time to time. I'll have to make sure I snack often today so I don't binge tonight.

On to dinner! Excuse the poor picture quality. I snapped a quick picture last night and devoured my food before I realized the picture was blurry. We had sweet potatoes, I put honey and cinnamon on mine, steamed broccoli with salt and pepper, and Old Bay seasoned salmon. I was kind of iffy on the salmon since the last time I fixed it I found it to be disgusting. However, after last night I'm pretty positive it was the lemon pepper I seasoned it with. I may be having this again tonight. It took about 11-12 minutes from frozen under the broiler on high.

I never would have guessed that eating endo friendly could be so tasty :)

Catch Up From Yesterday

I know I've been MIA, but I promise that I've been doing really good while away. My pain levels during this past AF were dramatically reduced again. I was able to manage what cramps I did have with generic ibuprofen. Not once did I feel like I was going to pass out or throw up. Also, I joined a support group on Facebook and decided to ask how many others had problems with passing out or throwing up. At first I thought there were none by the lack of responses, but then a few girls commented to let me know that they to suffered from the same problem. It feels so good to know that I'm not alone. It's never happened but one of my biggest fears is passing out or throwing up while using a public restroom. One girl suggested it could be Vasovagal Synscope.

I don't plan on rushing out to the doctor to find out because those pretty little green babies above are helping me control it! I only recently discovered my love for plain avocado. I've always loved guac, but for whatever reason I'd never tried an avocado. Now, however, I can't seem to keep them in the house!

This week has been a chili week. Mostly I have it for lunch and sometimes after dinner. It works out to keep me from munching on some snacky food with the hubby. Despite that and not counting calories I'm still losing weight. This morning I actually weighed in at 184.5. I can't believe how close to the 170s I am! I've been trying to add in a little exercise to help bust this fat. Fat is terrible for increasing estrogen, which I have been so blessed to have an overabundance of. Yippy.

This was my breakfast from the other day. I cooked kale, grape tomatoes, and jalapenos before adding in one egg. Eggs are supposed to be a no-no food for endo but I've found that it doesn't really affect me. I'm pretty sure that dairy is the worst for me. I react to that stuff almost immediately. I typically start swelling within 15 minutes of eating even the smallest amount of dairy.

Universe, please let my tubes and ovaries be clear of evil endo. Thanks.

I'm Still Here!

I'm still here!

Sorry I went MIA for so long. After my last post the hubby and I decided on a new couch and love seat for our Christmas. Once we got it we decided it was too pretty to just toss into our living room. So, we painted. In one weekend. Without stopping. It sucked! But we got it done. Pay no mind to the carpet, the smidgen of kitchen, and the wooden door. We'll get to that later.

Quick update...

AF came. yay. I'm on cd 4 of a new cycle. Both the hubby and the daughter ended up catching a cold so the daughters surgery is going to be rescheduled for around the middle of February. It's terrible, I know, but I immediately check the calendar to see if I would get an extra cycle. On one hand I was exciting to get another cycle to try before a forced break, but on the other hand I was kind of looking forward to the forced break. I think I need it emotionally and mentally. Desperately.

I do have some good news. I've been eating pretty well for the most part and I'm keeping my weight down. As of this morning I weighed in at 186.5. I'm beginning to think that dairy is the worst food for me. I swell up like crazy with that stuff.

Anywho...Looking forward to getting back to updating.